Understanding Yourself Through Personality: How to Maximise Strengths, Overcome Weaknesses & Navigate Life More Powerfully
Published by Ryan Gollan / 9 March 2025
MBTI Personality Test & How to Use It Better.
I’ve always been someone who likes to observe life from a distance, not just watching people, but mostly watching myself: my own thoughts, reactions, and patterns.
It’s almost second nature now. Every time after a gathering, a meeting, or an event, I find myself going through a "summary review" in my mind: replaying conversations, my own responses, and sometimes even asking myself, “Why did I say that?”
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated by why people think and behave the way they do (or more accurately, why I think and behave the way I do!).
✔ Why some people are naturally confident while others second-guess themselves.
✔ Why certain situations trigger a strong emotional response, while others barely disturb us.
✔ Why we sometimes react in ways we don’t even fully understand.
The more I reflected on this, the more I realised:
💡 The better we understand our own personality, the better we can navigate life.
This is where the 16 personality types test (MBTI) comes in. (Have you done that test? Click here to take a test, but answer all questions honestly!)
It’s not just about knowing whether you’re an Introvert or an Extrovert, it’s about seeing the entire map of how your mind works and how that impacts:
✔ Your strengths & how to maximise them.
✔ Your weaknesses & how to overcome them.
✔ Your emotional triggers & how to handle them.
✔ Your relationships & how to improve them.
Because when you fully understand yourself, you stop reacting blindly to life.
Instead, you start responding with clarity, intention, and power.
My INFJ Experience: The “Functional Extrovert” & Social Battery Management
I’m an INFJ, but many friends assume I’m an extrovert.
I’ve thought about this a lot, and maybe the best way to describe myself is as a "functional extrovert", someone who can be social when needed but also pays the price for it afterwards.
Something most friends don’t know:
✔ Before any social event, I have this ritual at home. I take a deep breath, mentally prepare myself, and almost “gear up” for the energy I need to bring.
✔ During an event, I sometimes step out for a quiet moment. A simple bathroom break or stepping outside for fresh air, it’s my little way of recharging when I start to feel drained.
✔ And yes… I’ve secretly swapped a name card at a dinner table when I saw that I was seated next to someone who would drain me for the whole night. I need to conserve battery life carefully! 😂
✔ Nowadays, I’ve cut down my social engagements by at least half compared to before, not because I don’t enjoy them, but because I need to protect my space and energy.
💡 Understanding your own energy levels allows you to structure your social life in a way that keeps you balanced.
So when we are at an event, we can manage our own energy, we can bring something positive to the event, out of respect for the host and the people we are meant to interact with while also ensuring we don’t completely drain ourselves by the end of the night.
Why I Stopped Seeing a Psychologist (And Why That Might Not Be the Right Belief)
Because I was in Sydney alone from an early age, I had to navigate life on my own, through trial and error. So in my late teens and early 20s, I used counselling and therapy sessions to help me process emotions, decisions, and challenges. (Yes I had a lot of challenges and could get so emotional at times when I was younger.) At the time, I found it helpful.
But as I grew older, I began to see a pattern in every session:
- I could predict exactly what the psychologist would say before they even said it.
- I already knew the logical, rational way to process my thoughts.
- The "new insights" they provided were things I had already worked out on my own.
So eventually, I stopped going.
Not because I think therapy isn’t valuable, but because I think that I am already wired for deep self-reflection.
But here’s the thing:
💡 Maybe my belief that I "don’t need therapy" isn’t correct.
💡 Maybe this is just my personality type dictating how I see things. (This could be the very personality trait of INFJ that thinks “I already knew what they were gonna tell me”)
Life is a constant learning journey, and the more we understand ourselves, the better we can see our own biases and patterns.
This means that instead of thinking “I already know what they’re going to say”, perhaps I should think, “What if I don’t? What if I need an outside perspective?”
💡 The key to growth isn’t just knowing yourself, it’s staying open to learning beyond what you think you already know.
Personality & Travel: Finding the Right Experience for Your Energy
One of the most interesting things I’ve realised is how your personality influences your travel style.
- Some people love high-energy trips: Ibiza, constant socialising, parties, new people every night.
- Others crave total solitude: quiet escapes to nature, solo adventures, deep introspection.
- Some people need structured itineraries, while others prefer spontaneous exploration.
💡 But what happens when you miscalculate what works for you?
I once went on a solo trip to a remote nature retreat, thinking it would be the perfect peaceful getaway.
For the first two days, I enjoyed the solitude.
But then, I started hearing my own thoughts a little too much.
Not in a bad way, but in a way that made me realise there’s a balance between peace and needing external stimulation.
A few days later, some friends joined me, and suddenly, the trip became the complete opposite, full of social activities, non-stop conversations, and excitement.
It was fun, but also exhausting.
By the end of it, I realised something:
I don’t thrive in either extreme, I need a slow-release dose of social interaction.
How Personality Affects Communication & Relationships
Here’s something to always remember:
💡 Over time, people won’t remember exactly what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.
And sometimes, people have fragile feelings, even if they don’t show it.
A bond between two people is like a delicate vase, you might think it’s strong, but the moment it shatters into pieces, it will never be the same again. Even if you realise your mistake and apologise, even if you try to glue the pieces back together, the vase is never the same again. So we need to understand and practice better - how our words and actions may have a much bigger impact on others, and we must learn to never take anything and anyone for granted.
💡 That’s why we need to be careful with our words and actions - because once something is broken, “fixing it” is never the same as never breaking it at all.
Do You Truly Understand Yourself?
A personality test doesn’t define you, but it gives you a map of your mind.
The question is: Are you using it?
What personality insights have helped you improve your life? Have you ever realised a pattern in yourself that changed the way you react?
Why This Matters for Next-Gen Leaders?
As I reflect on my own journey, the mistakes, the growth, and the lessons learned, I can’t help but think:
💡 If I had understood my own emotional and cognitive patterns earlier in life, it would have made an enormous difference.
I’ve always been someone who learns from trial and error, from real-world experiences and deep reflection on past actions. And while this method builds resilience and wisdom, it also comes with a cost - mistakes that might have been avoided if I had better tools earlier on.
For next-gen leaders, particularly those stepping into big shoes, family businesses, and leadership roles, this kind of self-awareness is not just useful - it’s essential.
- Many next-gens are expected to lead, make decisions, and represent their family legacy without truly knowing themselves first.
- Pressure, expectations, and responsibilities can create internal conflict, miscommunication, and even burnout when there is no clear understanding of one's own emotional and behavioural patterns.
- The ability to see more of yourself - your strengths, weaknesses, and triggers - equips you with the tools to navigate leadership in a way that benefits both yourself and those around you.
💡 If you don’t understand yourself, how can you expect to effectively manage, lead, or inspire others?
This is why self-awareness isn’t just about personal growth, it’s about learning how to better communicate, interact, and make decisions that serve not just yourself, but the people around you.
💡 In a world where next-gens are taking on massive responsibilities, mastering the ability to understand and regulate your emotions, reactions, and relationships is one of the most powerful skills you can develop.
And the earlier you start, the stronger, more resilient, and more effective you’ll be - not just as a leader, but as a person.
